Art by Hugh MacLeod. Sign up for his daily cartoons here. Why do I always use Hugh’s artwork in my blog? Because he uses a Creative Commons License, which gives permission to use his art on blogs. Brilliant!
(This post is re-printed from a previous post on DrewBrophy.com)
Some “well meaning” people will give advice, not knowing how bad it is.
And others, well, they are bitter and their advice comes from a place of anger.
If you are going to take advice from someone, take it from a person who has already achieved what you are striving for.
Avoid dream-crushers, even if they are your parents or siblings or friends. You know the type: You call up your sister and you’re all excited because you just decided to open your own studio. She kills your enthusiasm by saying “you know you’re never going to make it. Studies show that 4 out of 5 businesses fail in the first 2 years…”
Don’t talk to these people at all about what you plan to do. Trust in your own instincts. You are on this earth to do something unique and only YOU know what that should be.
Don’t take advice from someone who has no experience in what you are trying to do because their advice cannot help you.
Here’s a list of some of the worst advice that my artist husband, Drew, and I have received over the years, and have thankfully chosen NOT to listen to:
- You can’t just surf and paint the rest of your life (Drew’s high school guidance counselor)
- DON’T EVER WORK WITH YOUR WIFE! (From the founder of one of the most prominent sandal companies in surf) Boy, was he wrong on this one.
- Don’t stop working for …Lost. You’ll never get work anywhere else (same guy, above, in 2001 when Drew decided to sever ties with …Lost, a company he no longer shared the same values with)
- GIVE UP THIS ART BUSINESS AND GO GET YOURSELF A JOB! (a former accountant)
- You can’t make a living as an artist. BE A TEACHER INSTEAD. (A teacher in High School)
- GREEN PAINTINGS DON’T SELL. Paint blue. (From a gallery owner who told us that he couldn’t sell Drew’s “green” paintings. He had them stored in his back room for months. We took them back to our studio and within one week sold 3 out of 4 of them.)
I asked some of the successful artists out there to share the worst advice they’ve ever gotten:
- “Paint what is mainstream, paint what everyone else is painting.” (A member of a Santa Barbara artists’ association, when denying membership to artist David Lozeau.)
- “Nothing in life or making art, that’s worthwhile, is fun.” (An art instructor at Pratt Institute to then student Phil Roberts – who has fun everyday with his art.)
- “You need to progress from painting in Acrylics to working in Oils, a more ‘mature’ media.”
(Laguna Beach gallery owner to Tom Laura, aka BIG TOE ) - “ART IS A BIG WASTE OF TIME.” (Professional artist Al McWhite’s father, to Al as a kid.)
As a general rule, I strive to be open to other peoples opinions and ideas. But I draw the line when someone says “you can’t” or “there’s only one way to do something.” There are many ways to make art, to earn a living, to live your life. Your life doesn’t have to be dictated by how everyone else is doing it or has done it.
My husband Drew and I don’t listen to negative advice. I guess that’s what’s gotten us this far.
Never listen to stupid advice from smart people!
WHAT’S THE STUPID ADVICE YOU’VE GOTTEN? Please share in the comments below.
Maria xxoo
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Maria:
Like I always say, every time you write a post…sounds like the story of my life. It’s almost like you are a mind-reader. Tell me about it.
Yes, I have had to listen to unsolicited advice and preachy people.
The world is full of critics and people who are good at “stomping on a dream” to quote Frank Sinatra, one of my all-time favorite artists. What a cool cat. Well, here goes some of my experiences…
“Stop day-dreaming. It won’t get you anywhere in life. Be realistic.”
“What are you ever going to do with a Lit major anyway?”
“Art is for lazy people and artists are crazy people.”
“What are you going to be when you grow up–doctor/engineer/lawyer?” (Worst case scenario: MBA, by the way.)
“Stop writing poetry. Your poems suck anyway.”
“Stop reading literature. You live in a fantasy land. Git yourself a good job and make yourself useful around the house.”
“Why, you lazy bum. Git your lazy ass off my backyard. Admiring the scenery ain’t gonna pay the bills and I ain’t runnin’ no charity.”
“The only way you’re every gonna achieve anything, son, is by marrying a dumb blonde with a rich daddy, who likes you for being stupid.”
“Bad boy bad boy whatchya gonna do…whatchya gonna do…when they come for you.” Yes, just like the crappy song.
“You got yourself a good sense of humour, boy, but it ain’t ever gonna pay the bills. When you plannin’ on putting food on the table?”
And so on. And so on. And so on. But I don’t wanna bore you. Cheers!
Archan, keep writing your poetry – it’s really good. And you are funny (you always make me laugh!) Your degree means something. Stay in the backyard and listen to the birds. Day-dream. Do what makes you happy! (Thanks for your comment, too!)
Maria, a friend of mine who is wildly successful and has been for 15 years… when she first decided to pursue art full time, her husband and her brother suggested she “go back to doing the dishes”.
Then she netted $26,000 that year. Her brother apologized – her husband didn’t. She went on to make six figures annually ever since.
I love this story, Lori! Success is the best form of saying “I told you I knew what i was doing!”
What a great article!
I have heard lots of this “well meaning” advice and comments most of my life. Stuff like:
“Why don’t you paint something more commercially viable?’
“It’s just art and an easy “A”.
“What’s your back-up plan for when this doesn’t work?”
“You should stay in teaching (art) for the benefits and pension. Don’t start your own (art) business.”
Thankfully, I am extremely stubborn and am the red-headed stepchild, so telling me “NO” is like inciting me to riot – now I’m really going to go for it!
MARIA NAILED IT: listen to your own voice and be yourself. I’ve made a fool out of myself countless times, I’ve had more fun than is allowable by law and ART has put a roof over my head and food on my table my entire adult life.
Thanks, Maria!
Sandy, thanks for sharing your experience with this. It’s inspiring that you’ve held your ground, doing what you love, and making it your livelihood. I’m stubborn, too, and it’s worked in my favor for the most part!
This is perfect. I’ve been told many of the same silly things by various people in my life and I’m still going. You can’t let this stuff in.
Beware of the wet blankets!
Maria, thanks for reading my blog. I checked your website and your art is so much fun! I’m glad you didn’t let the “wet blankets” keep you from creating your awesome art.
Thanks Maria! And thank you for such an inspiring blog! We all need to hear this stuff!
My parents have tried to rain on my parade for years. It took me forever to learn NOT to tell them anything about artwork no matter how excited I was. They both were artists themselves, my father was a college art professor. My EX best friend and fellow art student used to completely change the subject or put down my work, I finally realized she was just jealous because I was actually doing what she didn’t have the guts to do. The best stupid advice was in college, my adviser/ printmaking professor told me I would never make it as an artist because I had to many OUTSIDE interests, body boarding and surfing. That my life did not revolve around my artwork. I always laugh when I think about that advice. After struggling for years to figure out what path to take with my artwork. I finally tried merging my love of the ocean and the beach lifestyle with my art. Hands down the best decision I ever made because now I do surf/ surfing inspired batiks on silk.
Maria,
I am sorry, but I just can’t resist and have to report the following conversation.
“Why you good-for-nothing…whatchamakalit that pretty lady?”
“Maria Brophy”
“Yeah. Just because she published one of your stupid poems on her blog ain’t makin’ you no Walter Shakespeare.”
“That’s William.”
“Yeah, ain’t make you no William Walter.”
“No, man, that’s William Shakespeare.”
“Yeah, whatever. One find day I’m gonna make a man out of you. And stop talking to me like I don’t know nothin’ about art.”
“You won’t have to, Dad, the strip club is just round the bend. I am a regular client.”
And so it goes. You just can’t win with some people, especially when you are related to them or they happen to be your neighbors. Cheers!
This is my first time reading your blog. Very enjoyable and inspirational. I just turned 50 and it’s been a long time since I experienced all those negative advisors but I still remember them like they were yesterday. Although I still work at a regular job, I just keep plugging away at my dream of being a fulltime artist. If anyone knew my real plans, they would definitely try to stop me. Why would anyone leave a 6 figure career to pursue the uncertain life of an artist? Because we have something to say. BTW, I’m a big fan of your husband. His work has really inspired me over the last few years.
My 3rd grade teacher told my parents in front of me that I would never amount to anything. My parents wanted to deck right there. To tell any young child that is ridiculous. Just because a teacher can’t hold a kids attention… Who’s really to blame? The fact is that everyone learns in their own way. Well I can say I am one of the most talented people you’ll meet. Multi-talented.
In school my teachers would send notes home saying I needed to no doodle so much and do my work. Fair I suppose but then who knew I’d want to make a living as an artist. That advice to do the work was good. My 3rd grade teacher, well that was some stupid advice.
Maria:
Very sound advice, both for the new and the seasoned pro. I think it’s part of the creative’s nature to doubt him/her self from time to time. This post is like a vitamin… keeps the inner strength up. Thanks for the good medicine.
Marty
Maria,
Great article!!! I remember my mother wanting me to be a dentist like my father because it was more respectable than an artist. She once told me when I grew up I would have to get a job, have a boss, wear a suit, cut my hair if I wanted to succeed in life. I responded with: “Your wrong mom, one day I will be my own boss with my own business and grow my hair as long as I want!” It was a self prophesy. When she found out later how well I was doing she was glad I went down my own path.
Or one of my favorite quotes is by Kinky Friedman “You don’t accomplish much by swimming with the mainstream. Hell, a dead fish can do that.”
Thanx Maria!
-Fian
I think some people stomp on creative aspirations not so much because they think you can’t do it, but because they’re jealous because they think *they* can’t do it.
Ironic how this article is talking about bad advice…
“Don’t go and try getting on the cruise ship in life, get on the row boat instead because it’s something you can actually do” (My father to me when I told him I want to be something great one day) #stupidadvice I’m not listening to.
“ stop giving advice if you don’t have proper knowledge ”