“The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.”  Burton Hills

We allow so many pressures on ourselves during the holiday season.  We are expected to be like everyone else: to attend all of the parties and gatherings, to bake cookies, to buy gifts for everyone in our life, to spend money we just can’t afford to spend.  We jump through hoops to please everyone.

I’m here to tell you, it doesn’t have to be like this.  You can have a very joyous, stress-free holiday.  Your friends will be envious, and they will want to know why you aren’t wigging out like they are.  ”You look so calm” they’ll say!

Here’s the secret to a Stress-Free Holiday:

Stop doing what stresses you out.  Stop doing what causes you to worry.  Start doing what brings you joy.  

A friend came by yesterday; her son was playing with my son, Dylan.  She said “Oh, I forgot to ask you what I should get Dylan for Christmas!”

And there it was; that uncomfortable moment that I go through every year.  It’s the moment where I have to break the news to someone that I’m just not that kind of girl.

“I don’t do gift exchanges.”  The rehearsed lines came out smoothly, though I still felt the awkwardness of the possibility of being judged for being “different.”

Years ago, I changed my approach to Christmas so that I could have a peaceful holiday.  One important change was that I stopped exchanging gifts with everyone except my husband and my son.

I don’t exchange gifts with my best friend Bridget, or my lovely sisters, not even my mother.

Here’s why:  The thought of shopping during Christmas season gives me hives.  I’m itching right now just thinking about the noisy, packed malls and money spent on useless items.

Christmas used to be a dreaded season in my earlier life.  First, there was the corporate gift exchange (back when I had a real job).  Then, I had to shop for my family who was far away in Maryland.  Once I got the gifts, I had to box and then ship them, waiting in long lines at the Post Office.

Like most people, I felt the pressure to remember to get a gift for every acquaintance in my life; the preschool teacher, the neighbor, the friend of a friend.

I found myself dreading the Christmas season.  It was just too much to handle.

One year I got so fed up I said NO MORE!  I decided to put an end to the madness.  I began by telling everyone I knew that I was giving up gift-giving.

There was resistance.  I was accused of being a Scrooge.  Some friends told me I was selfish, that gift-giving is a joyful thing.  But I quickly learned how happy I could be without the stress of shopping and going into debt.

And now, years later, the people in my life accept it.  They finally got used to it.  And maybe it took some pressure off of them, too.

Sometimes people still get me gifts, and when they do, I politely accept it and say “thank you.”

I never get stressed at Christmas time anymore.  Now, it’s my favorite holiday and I look forward to it and it’s the most fun I have all year!

Here are a few tips for you to have a truly joyful Christmas Season:

CUT BACK ON GIFT GIVING:  Start small this year (and cut back more each year); begin by only buying gifts for your family and telling everyone else that you aren’t exchanging gifts this year.

Leo Babauta of Zen Habits has a great article on why he stopped exchanging gifts called The Case Against Buying Christmas Presents.

I’m not advocating cutting out gift-giving completely; just pare it down to a manageable, and ENJOYABLE process.  Look, if you aren’t enjoying it, then should you be doing it?!  Do you really have to buy the daughter of the Aunt of the preschool teacher a gift every year?  I mean, come on!  Take it easy on your time and your wallet!

SECRET SANTA – One way to get your family to help in this process of cutting back on buying too much for too many:  Ask them to do a “Secret Santa” every year.  This is where you put all the names of the family in a hat, and each person picks one name of one person they will buy for.  This way, you are buying one very nice, special gift for one person, rather than a bunch of stuff for everyone in the family.   My in-laws do this every year and it’s great fun.

ONLY GO TO PARTIES THAT WILL BE FUN FOR YOU:  So you’ve been invited to a dozen parties, some of which are being thrown by family members that you don’t even like.  Don’t go.  Opt out of the events that won’t be joyful for you.  You won’t be doing anyone a favor by showing up and then being unhappy.  Suddenly be busy, politely back out.  You can’t waste your life doing things that are supposed to be fun, but aren’t.

STOP BEING SO PERFECT!  You don’t have to be perfect.  Just because someone else expects you to be the best gift-giver (some husbands feel this immense pressure), that’s that person’s own deal.   Or your best friend is a great baker of Christmas cookies and you aren’t.  Do what you do best, whatever that is.  You are already perfect just as you are.  Release the need to be something you’re not.

DROP THE “HAVE TO” and FOCUS ON JOY:  Do what brings you joy.  Don’t do what’s expected by others.  If you are married and both sets of in-laws are demanding your time on Christmas, and you and your spouse really just want to go hiking or surfing on Christmas, than do what will make you happy!  Your family will have to accept who you and eventually, they will respect that.    Make time for them later, or a day earlier if need be.  But don’t spend your entire Christmas day driving from family to family, exhausting yourself along the way.

GIVE THANKS:  Be thankful for all the wonderful things in your life.  If you love where you live, embrace that.  If you are lucky enough to have a special someone to love, appreciate that.  If you have a lot of friends that are good to you, thank them for that.  Look around at what you have and love it, enjoy it, be thankful for it.  Feel  joy and appreciation; these feelings are the cornerstone to a beautiful holiday and a happy life.

GIVE:  Instead of buying a bunch of gifts for acquaintances, give to the truly needy.  There are loads of homeless children that will never see Santa this year.  Find your local church or organization that gives to these children, and donate.  Or volunteer at a local soup kitchen.  These are acts that will give greater joy than buying your neighbor another box of chocolates.

LIGHTEN UP!  Not only should others lighten up on you, but you should, too.  Give them a break, those people in your life who aren’t living up to YOUR expectations.  Give them more love, understanding and forgiveness.  Allow them to be who they are.  Your life will be much easier when you take  this approach.

You have the freedom to enjoy your holiday any way that you want.  Break free of the expectations of others, and find joy in your own way.  Be happy.

For me, I will be at the beach on Christmas day. That’s been mine and Drew’s tradition for many years.  Praying for surf…

I wish you a joyful season.  Give love, lighten up on yourself and others!

And spread peace.

MariaSimilar Posts:

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Somewhere in the middle of nowhere, New Zealand

“A life of travel is not for special, rich or lucky people.  It’s for those who choose to live it.”

Do you dream of places you want to travel, but put it off until “some day” when you have more time and money or when your kids have grown?

Some day may never come. 

Most people have been brainwashed to believe that they don’t have the time, the money or the right to live a life of travel and that travel is for exotic people blessed with unusual jobs or trust funds.

And then, when they finally do embark abroad, it’s only for two weeks to a foreign land where they blazed in on a plane, made a mad dash to check off the “tourist to do’s” and then returned home exhausted.  Two weeks is child’s play!  For a truly rich experience, you need big chunks of time.

Imagine how much you would learn about yourself if you spent a month eating up the epicurean delights of Argentina, swimming with the sharks in South Africa or immersing in the spirituality of Ayers Rock.

You can travel if you want to. I promise you!  Please, read on and take this to heart.

I was born with the travel bug.  You could say it’s a curse, because the adventure of travel is all I ever think about.

My life and business have been carefully arranged so that my family and I can spend a couple months a year exploring new destinations.  Some years we are on the road four months or more.

My husband and I have created our company to enable us travel at the drop of hat.  And yes, this loses us money sometimes.  Shutting down our studio to travel overseas for a month at a time puts a ding in the revenue of our business.  But we choose the fun adventures over money every time.

One of the biggest misconceptions about travel is that you have to have a stash of cash to be able to take big trips.  It’s simply not true.  You don’t have to be wealthy, or even make an above average salary.  You just have to choose travel over “stuff”.

Every year Drew and I discuss getting a new car.  My 1997 Toyota 4-Runner has a lot of miles and a few dents.  Our conversation goes something like this:

Drew, pointing to a car ad in the newspaper:  “How about the Chevy Murano. They’re nice.”

Me:  “Let me calculate the cost.”

After a lot of clacking on my iphone calculator, I say:  “How about a trip to New Zealand instead?  It’ll be cheaper.”

When I’m faced with the decision to buy creature comforts or to take an adventure, the adventure wins out every time!

Most people claim that they want to live the travel lifestyle, but they rarely choose to make it a priority in their life.  Maybe they don’t know how, and it’s not their fault.  Sometime between when we are born and the time we are old enough to buy our own plane ticket, we are infused with the belief that travel is a luxury item, like a Porsche or a diamond ring.

But what if you knew that you could live a life, NOW, where every year you take a few months to explore other parts of the world?

And when you do finally retire, and you’re old and tired, you have a lifetime of memories of all the wonderful places you’ve been!

It’s not that difficult to create this type of life.  You just have to re-program your mind to think like a traveler.

Here’s how:

MAKE THE DECISION

Decide that you want to travel NOW, not when you have money, or are retired, or some other anchor point in the far future.  But now, starting this year.

ARRANGE YOUR LIFE TO MAKE TRAVEL A PRIORITY

You can either cultivate a career that allows travel or convince your 9-5 boss to allow you to take more time off.

Cultivate a Travel-Friendly Career:

There are numerous careers that allow you to take off for periods of time to travels.  They include:

• Nursing
• Teaching
• Writer/blogger
• Artist
• Entrepreneur
• Fishing / Tourist careers
• Massage, personal trainers, tutoring, dog walking; any skill that can go mobile

For nine-to-fivers:  If you have a 9-5 job that only allows a two week vacation each year, there is an alternative:

Train your boss, every year, to let you take a couple weeks extra without pay.  (Be okay with losing that pay.  You’re buying a wonderful lifestyle!)

Don’t ask permission, but rather make the most convincing argument that this is a lifestyle need, and that when you return you’ll be refreshed and raring to be the best employee ever.  Many bosses will surprisingly agree to this if they know that the company would benefit in the long run.

When I had my cubicle job many years ago in the insurance industry, I convinced my boss to let me take a one month trip most years.  In 1997 I convinced him to let me take a four month sabbatical.  I happily bought a round-the-world ticket and went on the trip of a lifetime.

HAVE LESS, TRAVEL MORE

The less stuff you have to worry about, the easier it is to pick up and go.  Stop accumulating worthless junk, electronics and clothing and start unloading what you have.

• Live below your means.
• Get rid of your cable bill.
• Don’t buy that new gadget if the one you have is good enough.
• Get roommates.
• Live in a smaller home (everything costs less when you do).
• Keep your car as long as you can, pay it off and keep driving it until it dies.
• Take good care of the things you have before replacing them with new ones.  (My washer and dryer are over 15 years old and they still run great.)

DON’T SWEAT THE COST OF TRAVEL

My wise mother in-law once said “Don’t worry about money.  It’s just a bunch of numbers on a piece of paper.”

Travel costs money, but you can do it for less than you think.  There are parts of the world where you can travel for very cheap, like Argentina, Nicaragua and Mexico.  In more expensive locations, save by staying in youth hostels or by doing a home exchange.  With a little creativity, you can stretch your money very far.

If you are worried about spending your savings to go on a life altering trip, remind yourself of what you are working for, anyway.   If not for a great time experiencing all that our world has to offer, than what?  Enjoy life, now!

CHOOSE TRAVEL OVER LESS IMPORTANT THINGS

Take a good look at what you are spending money on.  I have a friend who gets a new car every year and has a big screen television set in every room, but she complains that she can’t afford to travel!

On the other hand, my younger sister works simple jobs so she is free to go to Europe every summer.  Many of her friends are jealous.  But, she’s never owned a cell phone or a car.  She chooses a life of travel over a life of normal!

Never once have I regretted spending the time or money to go on a global adventure. I have enjoyed so many amazing adventures around the world, that if I died today, I would feel fulfilled.  I want you to feel the same way, too!

MAKE THE COMMITMENT

When we decided to travel Australia, we planned six months in advance.  The first thing we did was choose the dates and then bought our plane tickets.  Once the tickets were bought, the trip was a done-deal; there are no refunds.  Everything else fell into place after that.  Buying plane tickets = Commitment!

My challenge to you:  Choose one place that you want to go, and pick a date in the next nine months to go there.  Buy your plane tickets immediately.   Once you do that, you are committed!  Get excited and make a promise to yourself to do this every year.

Adventure, travel, culture:  it’s there for the taking.  You just have to arrange your life to have it.

Please, share in the comments:  Where will your dream adventure take you?

PS:  If you’re wondering why you haven’t heard from me for awhile, it’s because I’ve been busy writing a book called How to Understand Art Licensing Contracts.  Please, click on the link and check it out!Similar Posts:

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Drew, Charging Puerto Barrels 20 years later!

“Let us endeavor to live so that when we die even the undertaker will be sorry”  Mark Twain

Do you ever question if what you’re doing with your daily life is the right thing?

Do you feel that you’ve reached a lot of your goals, but you’re still bored?  Stuck in a hum-drum existence?

I’ve been feeling that way lately.

Every two years or so, I reach a point where I question my very existence.

It usually happens when I hit a plateau in my career; I’ll feel content for about ten minutes!  Then, I start yearning for something  more.

And, like most people, I ask myself if I’m doing the right things and am I missing out on something?

But maybe we are asking ourselves the wrong questions.

When my husband Drew graduated high school, he couldn’t afford college, and he was unhappy living the wild Myrtle Beach lifestyle.  He felt lonely and depressed.

Then he asked himself a question that changed everything.

“If I died today, what would I regret that I didn’t do yet?”

The answer came easy for him.  He had always dreamed of surfing really big waves, waves that were challenging even to the world’s top surfers.

That one question gave him the focus and direction he was seeking. And it led to his next move.

Puerto Escondido, Mexico was his first move.  The waves there are crushing and awesome and dangerous.  For Drew, it was a challenge of a lifetime.  It’s what got him motivated.

Drew went to Puerto Escondido and surfed the biggest waves of his life.  That led him to the start of his art career, because there he met people who encouraged him to move to Hawaii to paint surfboards.   He found his groove in life and here he is, twenty years later, the best known surfboard artist in the world.

But that’s not the point of the story.

It’s this:  When you’re feeling complacent and restless, ask yourself this question:

“If I died today, what would I regret that I didn’t do yet?”

And then take if from there.  Go on and live your life fully, doing what you dream of doing.

Maria xxoo

PS:  I had always dreamed of backpacking around the world.  I’ve done that now, and so my next “must do before I die” goal is to hike Mt. Whitney.  I’m scheduled to hike it on August 10^th!

What’s your pre-death wish?! Share in the comments, please!.

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“Don’t let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it.  The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.”  ~Earl Nightingale

An artist friend sent me this two-part question, which is a GREAT topic to cover:

1.)     Was there ever a point in Drew’s career where he felt like throwing in the towel?  and:

2.)    The impressive companies that he’s worked with on listed on his website; did they come to you or did you seek them out?

You would think that these are two separate topics, but they actually mold into one – stay with me on this article and you’ll see what I mean.

Question #1:  THROWING IN THE TOWEL (QUITTING):

Should you continue on when it gets hard, or do you throw in the towel and quit?

At least once a week I threaten to quit and go get a “real job!”  But then I remember how much I love doing what I do…

Being an entrepreneur can be grueling and exhausting.  Instead of a steady paycheck , you have to hustle to earn your pay.  There are times when business is dry and you have to push through it without freaking out about how you’ll pay your studio rent!

Take for example January and February, the two slowest months for our art business each year.  I used to stress out over the lack of cash flowing in those months, but now that we’ve been at it for over a decade, I’m accustomed to the roller coaster.  I know that everything is going to work out just fine.

There are times that everything goes wrong:  ten out of the ten phone calls you made to prospects were duds, a big deal you were counting on fell through, or a client stiffed you on payment.

These are the things that make us want to “throw in the towel”, call it quits, go get a real job.

But if you can push through the difficult times, and stay on a steady, consistent path, you will come out the other side and find success.

To become known as the expert of your trade takes years of commitment. And even the most successful people have to deal with challenges.  Business isn’t a cake-walk for anyone.

“Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did.”  ~Newt Gingrich

I asked Drew if he ever thought of throwing in the towel (though I knew the answer already!) and he said:

“Have I ever wanted to throw in the towel?  All the time!  Sometimes I think I should have been a landscaper instead.

It’s hard, being an artist.   Most days I have to hustle, like I’m on a treadmill.

But, I love painting for a living.  It pays off in different currencies. I can surf anytime the waves are good.  I travel anytime I want to.  Every morning I get to walk my son to his classroom.  He will always remember that.”

Don’t quit if you LOVE what you’re doing.

As an entrepreneur, you are paid in different currencies;

Time, ability to be creative, and the freedom to design your own life.  (That’s what keeps me going on this path.)

WHEN YOU SHOULD THROW IN THE TOWEL:

It’s time to quit when you really don’t love what you’re doing anymore.  Not meaning that you’re having a bad week; but that your heart isn’t in it anymore.  Or maybe it never was.

This isn’t only good advice for entrepreneurs, but for employees, too.

If you don’t love it, get out.

Question #2:  HOW TO GET BIG NAME CLIENTS FOR YOUR BUSINESS:

Being able to work with great, big clients comes down to these things:

• Great Reputation
• Known for Reliability
• Ability to Solve problems
• Being good at what you do

You reach the status of all of the above by staying on a consistent path.

The better clients, the best paying ones, COME TO YOU when you have a reputation for being reliable and for getting things done, for being great to work with and being damn good at what you do.

You gained this reputation because you’ve been doing it for a long time.  You got good from doing it for a long time.  The reputation came from pleasing many clients for a long time.

You got there because you never threw in the towel.

You kept doing what you do best, and you got better and better at it.

You became known for being the guy (or gal) who does that thing you do, extremely well.

And you got that reputation because you’ve been doing it for so long.

Doing it for so long meant never quitting, even when it got tough.

And that allowed you to get really good, and build up a reputation.

And the big clients come to you like a magnet.

Does that make sense?

In other words, once you become that guy (or gal) who’s got the reputation because you’ve been doing it very well for a long time, the big companies and clients come to you.

Your time spent making phone calls to potential clients is less and less.  Because they’re coming to you.

They come to you because you’ve been at it for a long time.

You never threw in the towel.

You are consistent.

I’m beating a dead horse, but that’s the key to getting big name clients to come to you.

Stay on a consistent path, keep doing that thing you do, and you’ll become great at it and you’ll become known for it.

(And don’t forget how important integrity is…)

Maria xxoo

ARTWORK CREDIT:  The fun, energetic artwork at the top is by my dear friend, artist Al McWhite, who never quit, and is an excellent example of perseverance and “staying on a consistent path”.

“Don’t be discouraged.  It’s often the last key in the bunch that opens the lock.”  ~Author Unknown

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Photo (c) Rebekka Gudleifs

“Tolerations weigh us down; they keep us stuck and prevent us from getting on with our life and moving forward.” Peggy Porter

I stumbled upon a great article by Peggy Porter about how tolerating big and little things in our lives can drain us of our good energy and keep us from moving forward.

It reminded me of a decision I made a few years ago not to tell nay-sayers my big dreams

I grew tired of people telling me that I “can’t” do something.  The final straw was when a close friend, a chronic naysayer of anything good, attempted to crush a dream of mine.

I had enthusiastically told her about my wild idea to create a television show based on the happenings in the surf art studio of my husband, Drew.

“You’ll never get a show going about Drew.”  The naysayer said, cooly.

“But other people do it, even a skateboarder who’s still in high school.  Why not us?”  I said, defending my idea.

“Because you don’t know anything about tv.  You don’t even know anybody in Hollywood.”  The naysayer rested her case.

She almost had me.  There was a split second where I agreed with her – what the hell did I know about producing a television show?  Who in the world did I think I was?

But then I came to my senses, and I made two decisions:

1.)     To stop spending time with naysayers; and

2.)     To only share my big ideas with people who think big

Being the stubborn Slovakian that I am, I refused let her get me down.  I began a three and a half year quest to get my show on the air.  Now, The Paint Shop is enjoyed by 3.5 million households, and that number grows every day.

There are roadblocks and attitudes that we should never tolerate, if we are to be happy, thrive and do what we were meant to do in life.

It’s easy for people to get under our skin, put us down, and convince us that we aren’t good enough to carry out our dreams.  After all, we have our own doubts, anyway.  It’s hard enough convincing ourselves.

Below is my list of the top offending tolerations and roadblocks to happiness and success.

NEGATIVE PEOPLE:  It’s very important to clear out the negative people from your life.  Their feelings and thoughts are contagious. Your life is too precious to pollute it that way.

If you have family members that you love that are negative, than limit your time with them.  You can still care about them and check in with them every now and again, but keep it to a minimum.  That way you can’t be affected by their darkness.

MISERY:  Unless you are a certified Psychiatrist, you can’t help people if they aren’t willing to help themselves.  You know that friend of yours that always has things going wrong?  Deep down inside she enjoys the drama.  Don’t get sucked into it.

DREAM CRUSHERS: These are the people who stomp your new ideas!   They may be well meaning, but they don’t know what they are talking about.

Be polite, but replace your time with them and spend it instead with like-minded folks who will uplift you and your ideas and who want to see you grow.

COMPLICATED LIVING:  Don’t tolerate being shackled to big bills for materials things that don’t matter.  Over-extending yourself keeps you from getting the real gold.

There are big things you want to do with your life!  Write that book, produce that video, take a year to explore Italy.

If you have a large mortgage or car payment, and you over-spend, you are not in a position to take risks where it really matters; investing in doing what you love.

It’s easier to take risks when you have less to lose. Keeping your expenses and your obligations to a minimum allows you to be open to doing that which is important to you.

My big project this year is our television show.  It is actually costing us money to get this on the air.  Production costs are very expensive, and until we get picked up by a major network, we are footing the bill (with some help from sponsors).

If we had a large mortgage, a swanky art studio space and big expenses, we wouldn’t be in a financial position to take a risk with this project.

By keeping our expenses low and not spending like crazy, we are able to take the risk to invest in our future without starving.

JUDGEMENT:  Don’t tolerate being judged by others.  You are perfect just the way you are, skinny legs and all.  There are 6 billion people on this planet, and we all have a different point of view.

At the same time, allow others to have their own opinion and accept it, even if you don’t understand it.  You will form tighter relationships with family, customers and neighbors taking this approach.

ROADBLOCKS:  Tolerating roadblocks can really slow us down – some are big, some are small.  Examples of roadblocks are:

• Using outdated equipment that causes inefficiency;
• A broken lightbulb, making it hard to see in your workspace;
• Lacking technical knowledge on how to get something done but putting off learning it;
• Keeping a bad employee, accountant or attorney that you can’t get the nerve to “fire”;
• An old website which looks like it was designed when Pat Benetar was popular!

Make a list of all of the roadblocks that are keeping you from getting things done, from being efficient or doing the best you can in your life, and then one-by-one, eradicate them!  You will be energized and free for more growth.

So I have to ask you, what have you decided to stop tolerating in your life? Please, share in the comments!

Maria xxoo

(Photo credit:  The Amazing Rebekka Guoleifsdottier)

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“To Visualize is to see what is not there, what is not real – a dream.  To visualize is, in fact, to make visual lies. Visual lies, however, have a way of coming true.”  Peter McWilliams

Visualizing your future helps to make it come true.   It’s a secret that top athletes and entrepreneurs have been using for centuries.

Some would call that little bit of magic “the law of attraction”, but I think it’s more like this:  when you set your intentions, out loud and in writing, your subconcious mind picks it up and believes it and stores it away.

Then, with that intention stored away, whenever something or someone comes your way that can help propel you to the intentions you’ve set, your subconcious recognizes it and sends a bolt through your body. This is what we call “inklings” or “instinct” or “urge.”

Have you ever had a strong urge to call someone or to do something, and you werent’ sure why?  Often we ignore those urges.  Some of us have been ignoring them all of our lives, so much so that we don’t even recognize them anymore.

We should never ignore our urges - an urge is our subconcious telling us that something we’ve been waiting for has arrived.  Here’s the important thing to remember:  usually it arrives looking very different than you imagined or expected.

And that’s where faith comes in.

Some people have a hard time visualizing.  It takes practice.  I’ve been practicing for years and now I’ve gotten good at it.  The thing that helped me the most was doing guided visualization meditations on a daily basis.  Now I can visualize at the drop of a hat.

Today, though, let’s visualize your intentions for this year through a fun little writing exercise.

This will help you visualize how you want your year to end up and what great things you want to make happen for yourself in 2011.

Write a letter to your mom or your best friend or even yourself; someone who cares deeply about you and will be excited when they hear about all the great things that happen to you.

Date it a year from now, and then write it as if the year has gone exactly as you want it to.  What’s surprising is that as you do this, new ideas will pop into your head that you haven’t thought of previously.

Be as specific as possible with as many details as you can.  Keep it positive and only list those things you want to happen.

Avoid stating the negative.  For example:  You want to kick out that bum friend that’s been living in your basement for free for the past eight months.  Your letter would put a positive spin on it like this:  ”Jack found another place to live and we have turned that room into a new office for me!”

One last suggestion:  leave your logic behind!  Go wild – it’s not like everything you write down actually has to happen.

This exercise is designed to get your creative juices flowing on the possibilities that life could have for you.

If you want more help on this exercise, check out Writing a Letter From Your Future Self and The Personal Excellence Blog.

After you’ve written your letter, go to FutureMe.Org and send the letter to your future self.  I just did with the letter below that I wrote to my friend Bridget.  I’ll receive this letter by email in one year.  Most likely, I’ll forget that I ever wrote it….

And then I’ll be surprised that most everything I wrote in the letter came true.  That’s how these things tend to work.

Grab yourself a pen and and have fun with this.  In the comments below, please tell me the top 3 wonderful things that “happened to you” in 2011!

(Below is the future letter I wrote to my best friend Bridget.)

March 1, 2012

Dear Bridget,

I have had the most amazing year!  It brought many great gifts and a few challenges, all of which I’ve grown from.

First, I learned how to deal with adversity through a few things that went wrong.  Like when both of my laptops broke at once – I had to learn the technical end of things.  Now, I’m an expert at dealing with PC problems!

Then, I got my THE PAINT SHOP tv show on the air.  And though it started out slow, only airing to three million people in Southern California, it’s now aired on National television!  I’m getting letters from artists all over the country who are not only inspired by the show, but energized by the idea that they, too, can earn a living doing what they love.

The show has attracted like-minded Sponsors who believe in our message on the show.  They are covering our costs and have enabled us to create top-quality episodes that we are very proud of.  We are being paid now to create this new art form that we’ve developed though tv.

Another great fallout from the tv show is that we’ve finally dispelled the myth of what professional artists do all day.  People are beginning to understand that the business of art is really about connecting with people, doing the work you love, and executing it to your best ability.  The stereotype of the “starving artist” is being thrown out the window!

We have signed on some very large clients this year as well.  We are doing business with one of the top car companies and the oldest camera company in America.  These partnerships have been lucrative for us, and now we are signing escrow papers for our dream house on the beach.

This year I’ve developed powerful skills in public speaking.  I’m finally comfortable on camera, and now it’s fun for me to be filmed!  That was the greatest milestone of all for me.

Drew and I are having a lot of fun creating new things together, and life is just getting more and more exciting.

I can’t wait to see you and hear about how 2011 went for you, too!

Life is Good – your best friend, Maria

“See things as you would have them be instead of as they are.”  Robert CollierSimilar Posts:

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Drew is painting me a Buddha.  I’ve waited a year, but since I’m not a paying client, it always gets put to the side!

This week, he’s finally drawn up the sketch, which means he’s close to starting the painting.

The Buddha painting is symbolic to the peace that we both needed to cultivate, following up to a very stressful situation that we’ve just survived.

A long-time client had asked for artwork for a program they do each year.  They specifically requested a scene with Neptune, that mythical God of the Sea.

“We could have fun with that one“, we thought!  Neptune is a powerful figure, and Drew loves painting ocean scenes.

Drew did the work painting his depiction of Neptune on canvas, and we were both pleased with the outcome.

But then the unthinkable occurred.

A bump in the road that rarely happens.  I mean, I can’t remember the last time it did happen, or if it ever has happened – where a client came to us AFTER the work was done and said “I don’t like it.”

There are safeguards set in place to avoid this heart-break.

We always sit down with the client and Drew sketches out their ideas or what they want, right there in front of them (or over the phone).  Once he’s confident of the concept that they want, he cleans up the sketch and then emails it to them for approval.

Nothing gets painted without prior approval.  That’s how we avoid someone coming back and saying “I don’t like it.”

But this time, things were different.  Turns out the client we have worked with for many, many years, whom we have a great relationship with (still), was told by his boss, “Al” not to use the art, AFTER it was painted.

Al vetoed the artwork because he didn’t like the Neptune.    So he asked us to remove  Neptune from the image.  We were extremely reluctant.

Drew and I both agonized over how we would keep the integrity of the artwork while at the same time, keeping a good relationship with a longtime client.

Relationships are everything to us.  We weighed the pros and cons.  We drank a bottle of wine over it.  We argued amongst ourselves.

Finally, we decided to do as they asked.  Drew pulled Neptune out.  Hours of playing in Photoshop and he somehow figured out how to remove the main focal point of the painting and still keep the composition intact.  It was actually amazing that he was able to pull it off.

Al still didn’t like it.  Could we make the shark look friendlier, the octopus not so…ummm, something?

Four more hours and Drew changed those two things, too.

And still, Al didn’t like it.  So we had to call it quits at that point.  It was devastating and exhausting and stressful.  They still paid for it because we put in the time.

But that roller coaster is something we never want to go through again, ever.

To give myself control over any situation that goes wrong, I always look at myself and ask “what could I have done to avoid this?”  and “What can I do to avoid this from happening in the future?”

And the answer is, sometimes you just can’t please ‘em all.  You have to let it go.   And you have to just chalk it all up to a learning experience.

Oh, and learn to feel okay about it.  Sometimes things just don’t work out, and we don’t understand why.  We just have to roll with it.  (And be sure to always get a non-refundable deposit up front.)

Last night Drew brought home my Buddha sketch.

“What do you think?”  He asked, looking for approval to move to the painting phase.

I mulled over the sketch, noticing that my Buddha has muscles (I liked that) and  the symbolism included in the drawing.

After three long minutes, I said “I love it!  But….

Drew braced himself for the criticism that usually follows the word “but”;

I continued “What if Al doesn’t like it?”  We both burst out laughing, and a new phrase has been coined.

We had weathered another storm.  The Buddha made us laugh.  And all is well with the world again.

Here’s to living and learning and the awesome roller coaster of life –

Maria xxoo

**In the comments below, please share your experiences and solutions you’ve found when a client didn’t like your work…

.

PS:  The painting of NEPTUNE is featured in Episode 3 of our new TV show THE PAINT SHOP WITH DREW BROPHY.  You can watch the entire episode now!

PPS:  NEPTUNE original painting sold but you can order your Giclee Print on Canvas in the Drew Brophy STORE!

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One of the best ways to create your own success is to emulate someone else who’s already done it. Study them and their formula.  Then put it to work for yourself.

I’m going to share with you an inspirational story and formula of an artist who started with nothing and now is quickly rising to the top.

If you want the basic formula for success as a creative person, keep reading. The indented colored text is my take on the success principles that this artist has employed.

(I first wrote this article for FIND ART Magazine last summer.  This is the long version, before FIND ART edited it.)

If you haven’t heard of Live Painting Artist Michael Pukac yet, trust me, you will.  His art is striking, but it’s his fearlessness that’s sealed the deal on his success.  Fear of failure has never stopped Pukac from going for his dream.

Pukac (pronounced “Poo-Khash) had me at “hello” and it wasn’t because he is Slavic (me to), or that he is part 1 of 2 parts of a power couple (me to), or that he would rather travel the world than have money in the bank (me too);

I am smitten with Pukac because he never gave up on his art career, even when he failed his first go around.  Now he is quickly becoming the hot new darling of the Los Angeles art scene.

And that’s a message I give to every artist who ever asks me about finding success in art.  Don’t let failure make you quit.  Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again.

Pukac made the big, scary move from Alabama to Los Angeles the first time in 2005.  Things didn’t quite work out for him, though.  He endured a year of hardship before returning back to the East Coast.  He wasn’t yet ready for the big city- he needed more money and time.  But he didn’t give up on the dream.

Never give up on what you want.

Two years later a deal to create illustrations for a children’s book series came to him.  This earned him enough money to return to Los Angeles and give it a second try.  This time, he was armed with his right-brained girlfriend and manager Dicapria.

If you fall down, dust yourself off and try it again.

Living in Los Angeles has been a whirlwind for Pukac.  With Dicapria’s help, he evolved from struggling artist to having his art fully support both of them in just three years.    Each week he not only performs “live paintings” two or three times, but he also averages two new exhibit openings as well.  He’s a busy guy.

Do the hard work it takes to be successful.

From the very beginning, Pukac made sure that no matter what he did for money, it involved painting.  He explained, “My rule was to live by the paintbrush.  You can’t ever think ‘I’m too good for that.”

Pucak would accept any job that involved painting, even sign painting.  Now, he has the stature to be able to paint what he chooses.

Commit to your craft.  Do what you want to be doing.  It’s what you do each day that defines who you are.

Finding his footing in Los Angeles took planning and a lot of work.

Pukac said “In Los Angeles you have to have your game plan together to be able to live off of your art.”

He knew that he wanted to hit the gallery scene hard, but there was a catch.  He needed a platform to allow him to do it.

This is a problem that most creative people struggle with; figuring out “HOW”.  There’s no one perfect roadmap to success for art.

But there’s also a common mistake that many artists make.  They turn away opportunity when it’s presented to them. This is because they don’t see that their prayers are being answered, because often opportunity doesn’t show up looking like they imagined it would.  It comes disguised as something else.

But Pukac was open to the unexpected.  The answer to his problem of HOW to tap into the LA art scene came to him by accident when he discovered “live painting”.

He said that once he started doing live paintings, he realized that he was born to do this.  “It was the best thing that ever happened to my career.”

Be open to new ideas; you might just figure out something you should have been doing all along.

Another reason for the strong interest in his work is that Pukac’s style is fresh on the West Coast.  Los Angeles is known for having too many artists painting that ‘doe-eyed’ look and curators are tiring of it.

“I came out here and realized that no one’s work looks like mine.  Here in Los Angeles, they LOVE different.  That’s why I feel so at home in the gallery scene here.”

Have your own thing.  Do something different from everyone else.

Pukac is a visionary.  Ask him what his plans are for the next 15 years and he’ll tell you, broken down in three-year increments.  He plans on spending three more years in Los Angeles and then moving to New York for five years.  After that, he’ll move to Prague.  He has been planning his life out from the beginning. And it’s worked for him.

Plan what you want to do for the year, five years, ten years, and your life.

Extremely prolific, Michael finishes more paintings in a week than most artists do in a year. “I’ll do three paintings in four hours,” Michael says of his live painting performances.

He’s dedicated, working six days a week and often seven.   He will work on 25 paintings at a time, spending 15 minutes on each before methodically moving onto the next.  “It’s very, very efficient,” he explained.  “I have to keep that momentum up.”

Volume is substance.  Pump out the work.

Pukac’s paintings defy logic.  He gets a kick out of painting flawed scenarios, such as a woman suspended by hot air balloons which are supported by candles.  Pukac laughs, “it’s going to be a short trip!”

He borrows from serious classical pieces then adds his own humorous, clever twist.  His artists’ statement describes his paintings as “…playful – heartfelt yet irrational.  They are like romantic absurdities or well-spoken riddles with no answer…” He’s well-read and brilliant, and his paintings reflect his intellect.

I asked Pukac if he paints fast.  He answered, “Mother Nature doesn’t spend time testing before a release.  I paint the way that nature works, fast and without worry.  Quality is inevitable.”

Pukac listens to books on tape while painting.  “You can’t always listen to music,” he explains.  “I do a lot of research on other artists.”  He just finished listening to THE HISTORY OF THE SISTINE CHAPEL and now is onto lighter subjects with ONLY COWGIRLS GET THE BLUES by Tom Robbins.

Keep educating yourself

Here are a few revealing questions I asked Pukac:

WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU COULD MAKE MONEY FROM YOUR ART?  “As a kid, in fourth grade, I sold drawings of nudies for .50 cents to the older kids on the school bus.”  (He was a born entrepreneur!)

DID YOUR PARENTS SUPPORT YOUR DESIRE TO BE AN ARTIST?  “It kind of was always there.  One way my parents kept me busy was by just giving me a pencil.  I was obsessed.  When I got out of college, they asked ‘what are you gonna do?’  ‘What do you mean what am I gonna do?’ I said.  There was no other option.  They fully supported it.”

HOW DO YOU START YOUR DAY?  “My first hour of waking up is devoted drawing sketches – bizarre, evil lollipops and vaginas, things that have nothing to do with my work.”

WHY DO YOU THINK THAT SOME PEOPLE HAVE TROUBLE EARNING A FULL TIME LIVING FROM ART?  “They have to go through a stage of doing it even though they hate it.  I don’t think a lot of artists are willing to go through the starving period.  It took me two years.”

WHAT’S THE WORST ADVICE YOU EVER GOT?  “If you just put more dogs in your paintings, you’ll sell more!”

DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE LAW OF ATTRACTION?  “It happens again and again and again.  My whole career has been just the right person showing up at just the right time.”

ARE YOU LIVING YOUR DREAM?  “Yeah.  Every day I wake up so stoked.  To work for myself is awesome.   Some days I complain that I haven’t had a day off in two months.  But then I remember that I’m lucky.”

ARE YOU SUCCESSFUL?  “Yes. (pause)  No.  I’m happy, but I have a goal in mind and I’m on that path.”

“I’m still running that marathon.”

Please, share in the comments below what you get out of Michael Pukac’s story!

Maria xxoo

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“I have come to believe over and over again that what is most important to me must be spoken, made verbal and shared, even at the risk of having it bruised or misunderstood.”  Audre Lorde

Drew and I were driving up to San Francisco when I received a blog comment from a reader that hit me like a punch in the stomach.

I admit, I have a very soft spot that needs to toughen up.  Criticism eats me alive.

It put a damper on my day because the reader, Anthony, totally misunderstood my message.  And that’s my fault, as a writer.  Now I worry that others might misunderstand as well.

After my nine year old put in his two cents (keep reading for that), I was compelled to write this follow-up post to clear things up.

Anthony mentioned how he appreciates my blog but was critical of my BREAK ON THROUGH TO THE OTHER SIDE post.  He wrote:

“…as an artist who is working on becoming one of these self existing entities, your post came across as privileged, out of touch, and even a little condescending.

Obviously many other people are really excited about your story and what it means for them. Unfortunately, the  parts of this post that spoke to me were “six figure income” and “Drew had been a professional artist his entire life…”

He was referring to my personal story on how I went from working a corporate job I didn’t like; to creating a job doing what I love in the art world.

I went out on a limb when I wrote that post.  It was difficult because I bared a lot of personal information.

And what was most disappointing was that someone would see me as privileged!  It means I’m not doing my job as a writer.  I’ve not made myself clear.  So here goes:

Far from privileged, my first job was at 14, cleaning houses.  I had to pay my way for everything, including my cap and gown rental so that I could graduate from high school.

It took years for me to stop thinking that Happiness is a Four Leaf Clover…

I dreamed of living at the beach in California and eventually made my way there, across the country, a few years after high school.  After 15 years working a good-paying job that I did not care for I finally created an existence that is off-the-charts joyful.

Now  I work with my husband and do what I love:  travel, write, manage Drew’s art career and spend as much time as possible with my son.

Everything I have I created for myself.

If I can do it, without a good upbringing, money or college degree, anyone else can, too.

My message was one of hope, not bragging.  And I’m so sorry if it came across otherwise.

On the other end of the spectrum, I received a slew of mail from people telling me that my post gave them hope and some said it inspired them to do what they’ve been putting off for many years.

Anthony questioned why I felt the need to mention that I earned over six figures in my old job and that it was probably easy for me to quit because I most likely had money saved up.  Wrong – it’s just the opposite.

The more money you make, the harder it is to leave a job you don’t like.

The money is an anchor, the benefits are chains.

I felt the need to mention money because I wanted to inspire others who were in similar situations.

I wanted them to know that it’s possible to make that big of a leap; to go from making a lot of money to making nothing, and then build it back up again.

When I opened the email containing Anthony’s comment, we were driving North on the 5 freeway.  I said out loud in the car, to Drew, defending myself:

“I wrote those details about the money and our lives because I want people to know that we are just normal people, with normal problems.  That we had to make things happen for ourselves because no-one else was going to.”

“I want people to know that it wasn’t easy, but it was great.  And it’s still not easy.  Every day I question what I’m doing, and if it’s the right thing.  But I’m doing what I love now…”

Emphatically, I added, “I just want people to know that they can do it, too.”

From the back seat my nine year old son, Dylan, piped into the conversation.

“Mom, then why didn’t you just write THAT?”

Sometimes kids are so brilliant.  Why don’t we just say what we want to say, without writing more than we need to?

So, here’s my message, short and simple:

I want everyone to know that they can design a lifestyle that they love, no matter what obstacles there are.

Here’s the most important part (please take note of this):

There’s nothing extraordinary about me or Drew.  We had no help from anyone.  We had very little money in the bank when I jumped out of the corporate world and into the art world.  Neither one of us finished college.  We are not Stephen Hawking smart.  There is absolutely nothing for us to fall back on.  (And that’s the really scary part, if you let it scare you.)  But we did it anyway, because we decided to live life on our own terms.

I’m telling you this (again) because I want you to know that if you want to, you can create your own possibilities, too. You can create the life that you dream of.  No matter what that is.

The first thing to do is to decide what a great life FOR YOU looks like.  (It’s different for everyone.)

You don’t have to follow my path, but please, follow yours.

That’s all I have to say about that.

Maria xxoo

PS:  The start of a New Year is the perfect time to spend a few hours thinking about what you want from your life.  Not goal setting, but life-setting.  Dream up the dream for yourself.  And then see what happens.

Need a kick-start to help you design the lifestyle of your dreams?  Get my LIVING THE DREAM 32 page e-book at the Store.  Or, get it free just by signing up for my awesome newsletters!

“Anybody who writes doesn’t like to be misunderstood.”  Norman MacCaig
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“God is spreading grace at the world like a five year old spreads peanut butter; thickly, sloppily, eagerly.  And if we are in the back shed trying to stay clean, we won’t even get a taste.” Donna Schaper in Stripping Down.

Life can be messy.  Things don’t go as we planned.  We disappoint ourselves.

Or, more tragic:  People lose their jobs, cars get wrecked and lovers leave us.

Some of these things, almost all of them, can be a good thing, if we learn to let go of what we expected, and just go with the flow.

Life is like traveling.  There are certain uncertainties that you should accept.  One is that you may not get to your destination as planned. Instead of fighting it, arguing with the airlines and trying to get your way, learn to just go with the flow.

Three years ago we spent a summer in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.  The flight back had a layover in Newark, N.J.

We arrived into Newark late, due to inclement weather, and when we got to the Continental counter to find out what time the next flight leaves, the agent said “Sorry, we can’t get you out of Newark for 3 days.”  It was 11:00 p.m. and we were exhausted.

“Well, where are you going to put us up tonight?”  I asked.

“It’s not our responsibility to do anything but take you from Point A to Point B.”   He replied.  It was rehearsed, and I could tell he had said this same sentence to about 100 other people before me.

I took a deep breath.  I felt the anger well up inside.  I needed to get home and this agent didn’t care.

“Okay,” I said, trying to accept being stuck in Newark for three days.  “How do we get our luggage?”

“Sorry, your luggage is on its way to Los Angeles.”

I turned to look at Drew.  I wanted to see how mad he was.  Surprisingly, he was calm.  Then we agreed to make the best of this.  We had no other choice.  So we called relatives in New Jersey, rented a car, and drove to their house. They had clothes and a good bottle of Cabernet waiting for us when we arrived.

The next day we took a speedboat into New York City.  It was our son’s first time there.  The weather was perfect, everything was easy and we had a blast.

Even though we should have been stressed out and angry because we didn’t have our clothes, and we were missing scheduled meetings, and we needed to be at work, we had fun.  That unplanned detour turned out to be one of our most memorable trips ever.

It’s hard to go with the flow all the time.  Often I get frustrated when things don’t go the way I expected.  Then I remind myself that it’s just life, and I shouldn’t take it so seriously.

So the next time things get messy, and you feel disappointment, decide to make the best of it.  Find peace with it.  Because the moment you find peace with it, things will begin to flow in a better direction.

Maria xxoo

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