“Tolerations weigh us down; they keep us stuck and prevent us from getting on with our life and moving forward.” Peggy Porter
I stumbled upon a great article by Peggy Porter about how tolerating big and little things in our lives can drain us of our good energy and keep us from moving forward.
It reminded me of a decision I made a few years ago not to tell nay-sayers my big dreams
I grew tired of people telling me that I “can’t” do something. The final straw was when a close friend, a chronic naysayer of anything good, attempted to crush a dream of mine.
I had enthusiastically told her about my wild idea to create a television show based on the happenings in the surf art studio of my husband, Drew.
“You’ll never get a show going about Drew.” The naysayer said, cooly.
“But other people do it, even a skateboarder who’s still in high school. Why not us?” I said, defending my idea.
“Because you don’t know anything about tv. You don’t even know anybody in Hollywood.” The naysayer rested her case.
She almost had me. There was a split second where I agreed with her – what the hell did I know about producing a television show? Who in the world did I think I was?
But then I came to my senses, and I made two decisions:
1.) To stop spending time with naysayers; and
2.) To only share my big ideas with people who think big
Being the stubborn Slovakian that I am, I refused let her get me down. I began a three and a half year quest to get my show on the air. Now, The Paint Shop is enjoyed by 3.5 million households, and that number grows every day.
There are roadblocks and attitudes that we should never tolerate, if we are to be happy, thrive and do what we were meant to do in life.
It’s easy for people to get under our skin, put us down, and convince us that we aren’t good enough to carry out our dreams. After all, we have our own doubts, anyway. It’s hard enough convincing ourselves.
Below is my list of the top offending tolerations and roadblocks to happiness and success.
NEGATIVE PEOPLE: It’s very important to clear out the negative people from your life. Their feelings and thoughts are contagious. Your life is too precious to pollute it that way.
If you have family members that you love that are negative, than limit your time with them. You can still care about them and check in with them every now and again, but keep it to a minimum. That way you can’t be affected by their darkness.
MISERY: Unless you are a certified Psychiatrist, you can’t help people if they aren’t willing to help themselves. You know that friend of yours that always has things going wrong? Deep down inside she enjoys the drama. Don’t get sucked into it.
DREAM CRUSHERS: These are the people who stomp your new ideas! They may be well meaning, but they don’t know what they are talking about.
Be polite, but replace your time with them and spend it instead with like-minded folks who will uplift you and your ideas and who want to see you grow.
COMPLICATED LIVING: Don’t tolerate being shackled to big bills for materials things that don’t matter. Over-extending yourself keeps you from getting the real gold.
There are big things you want to do with your life! Write that book, produce that video, take a year to explore Italy.
If you have a large mortgage or car payment, and you over-spend, you are not in a position to take risks where it really matters; investing in doing what you love.
It’s easier to take risks when you have less to lose. Keeping your expenses and your obligations to a minimum allows you to be open to doing that which is important to you.
My big project this year is our television show. It is actually costing us money to get this on the air. Production costs are very expensive, and until we get picked up by a major network, we are footing the bill (with some help from sponsors).
If we had a large mortgage, a swanky art studio space and big expenses, we wouldn’t be in a financial position to take a risk with this project.
By keeping our expenses low and not spending like crazy, we are able to take the risk to invest in our future without starving.
JUDGEMENT: Don’t tolerate being judged by others. You are perfect just the way you are, skinny legs and all. There are 6 billion people on this planet, and we all have a different point of view.
At the same time, allow others to have their own opinion and accept it, even if you don’t understand it. You will form tighter relationships with family, customers and neighbors taking this approach.
ROADBLOCKS: Tolerating roadblocks can really slow us down – some are big, some are small. Examples of roadblocks are:
- Using outdated equipment that causes inefficiency;
- A broken lightbulb, making it hard to see in your workspace;
- Lacking technical knowledge on how to get something done but putting off learning it;
- Keeping a bad employee, accountant or attorney that you can’t get the nerve to “fire”;
- An old website which looks like it was designed when Pat Benetar was popular!
Make a list of all of the roadblocks that are keeping you from getting things done, from being efficient or doing the best you can in your life, and then one-by-one, eradicate them! You will be energized and free for more growth.
So I have to ask you, what have you decided to stop tolerating in your life? Please, share in the comments!
(Photo credit: The Amazing Rebekka Guoleifsdottier)