Maria Brophy

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Philosophy

What to do when life gets messy like peanut butter

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“God is spreading grace at the world like a five year old spreads peanut butter; thickly, sloppily, eagerly.  And if we are in the back shed trying to stay clean, we won’t even get a taste.” Donna Schaper in Stripping Down.

Life can be messy.  Things don’t go as we planned.  We disappoint ourselves.

Or, more tragic:  People lose their jobs, cars get wrecked and lovers leave us.

Some of these things, almost all of them, can be a good thing, if we learn to let go of what we expected, and just go with the flow.

Life is like traveling.  There are certain uncertainties that you should accept.  One is that you may not get to your destination as planned. Instead of fighting it, arguing with the airlines and trying to get your way, learn to just go with the flow.

Three years ago we spent a summer in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.  The flight back had a layover in Newark, N.J.

We arrived into Newark late, due to inclement weather, and when we got to the Continental counter to find out what time the next flight leaves, the agent said “Sorry, we can’t get you out of Newark for 3 days.”  It was 11:00 p.m. and we were exhausted.

Well, where are you going to put us up tonight?”  I asked.

It’s not our responsibility to do anything but take you from Point A to Point B.”   He replied.  It was rehearsed, and I could tell he had said this same sentence to about 100 other people before me.

I took a deep breath.  I felt the anger well up inside.  I needed to get home and this agent didn’t care.

Okay,” I said, trying to accept being stuck in Newark for three days.  “How do we get our luggage?”

Sorry, your luggage is on its way to Los Angeles.

I turned to look at Drew.  I wanted to see how mad he was.  Surprisingly, he was calm.  Then we agreed to make the best of this.  We had no other choice.  So we called relatives in New Jersey, rented a car, and drove to their house. They had clothes and a good bottle of Cabernet waiting for us when we arrived.

The next day we took a speedboat into New York City.  It was our son’s first time there.  The weather was perfect, everything was easy and we had a blast.

Even though we should have been stressed out and angry because we didn’t have our clothes, and we were missing scheduled meetings, and we needed to be at work, we had fun.  That unplanned detour turned out to be one of our most memorable trips ever.

It’s hard to go with the flow all the time.  Often I get frustrated when things don’t go the way I expected.  Then I remind myself that it’s just life, and I shouldn’t take it so seriously.

So the next time things get messy, and you feel disappointment, decide to make the best of it.  Find peace with it.  Because the moment you find peace with it, things will begin to flow in a better direction.

Maria xxoo

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12 Comments What to do when life gets messy like peanut butter

  1. Reese

    I LOVE the Donna Schaper quote!

    Ooooh, how I needed to read this today. I’ve been taking myself, art and life waaaaay too seriously. Thanks for the reminder to go with the flow.

    Reply
    1. Maria Brophy

      Reese, thanks for the comment! Yes, I needed to hear this the other day myself, when I went into Yoga class feeling a little down. The Yoga instructor ended the class with this quote, and I loved it so much, and it was so inspiring, I said “I’m going to write a post around this!”

      Reply
  2. Barbra Ignatiev

    Amen! I try to keep this mantra at all times. It’s hard to keep reminding yourself that this may be happening to teach you a lesson or just to slow down. Thanks for the reminder. Needed to read this today.

    Reply
  3. Archan Mehta

    Maria,

    Awww…who’s that adorable kid standing beneath the subway sign?
    Bless your heart for including this snap. You have a magic touch when it comes with photos or images. You can capture what is best in a jiffy. I am glad you look at life’s experiences in a different way. Your angle is unique. Going with the flow and taking a detour can help you deal with life’s erratic and eccentric events. Just goes to show your level of maturity, O wise lady. I will pray for you and your family.

    Reply
  4. Heather L.

    Awesome post, Maria!! This is a great frame of mind to be in when life gets tough! I have gone through many tough times in my own life.

    This is a great reminder to me of how I should react when things do not go as I planned them. Thank you!

    Reply
  5. Indigene

    Bravo for your patience! Now, I just have to remember to hold onto this story when those moments arise. I’m working on it…:) It is moments like this that reminds us that everything happens for a reason and that we are resilient. Thanks for the reminder.

    Reply
  6. Maria Brophy

    We all need this reminder, sometimes! If we can only think to ourselves, when things seemingly go wrong, that “God’s spreading peanut butter again…” maybe we can take it in stride!

    Thanks everyone for your comments,

    Archan: My next career will be photography!

    Reply
  7. Jack

    Maria
    Thank you.
    I am reading your post and your message this is what I need right now.
    Is so nice to remember that life is an adventure. Sometimes messy, sometimes terrible, sometimes happy.
    Number of years ago I was in really bad situation. Living in a country under communist regime Followed day and night by Police , guilty of crimes like printing uncensored newspaper, books from the black list exposing the system and regime and in short the whole play was kind of very dark experience everybody I was talking to later was taking as a horror story. NOT me. When your experience gets so dark that it touches death and life you are getting certain type of feeling, religious feeling that actually you should on your knees pray and say THANK YOU GOD FOR THE EXPERIENCE.
    and I got this feeling in me up to this day.
    When the dark clouds were behind me I never tasted the life so fully.
    Sun was much brighter, I was noticing things in life I never appreciated before. Bad experience sometimes is a Gift

    Reply
  8. doug

    glad your layover turned out well. in the beginning i was worried it was going to the story of how your daughter lost her right arm….

    Reply
  9. Dave from The Longest Way Home

    Ha, it was the title of this post that made be read all the way through. A very nice one.

    But, true words too. There’s too much in the world these days to let your mind get bogged down in worry.

    The big question, and possibly a good post for you, is how to overcome the anxiousness of worry and fret when it sneaks up on you throughout the day and night?

    Reply

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