My friend is worried about her 23 year old son. He’s at an awkward stage where he’s not sure what to do with his life – he doesn’t want to go back to college, he doesn’t want to stay where he is living, and he’s barely making enough money to eat.
He’s paralyzed by the fear of choosing the wrong path.
“What if not going to college ruins his life?” My friend worries. “What if he moves somewhere and it doesn’t work out?” “What if he makes the wrong choice?”
And I asked her “Do you think there’s only one right choice?”
There are three times in our lives that we face big, life-changing crossroads:
- Late teens and early 20’s, when you realize that you now are responsible for yourself and you’d better get your life together;
- During a career collapse or after being fired from a job;
- At the Mid life crisis – when you see that more than half your life is gone and you didn’t do all of those things you were put on this earth to do, whatever that is.
Sometimes you just wish you had a crystal ball, or a soothsayer, that could tell you which road to choose. And it’s scary to discover that there’s no one better equipped to choose for you, than yourself.
The thought of making the wrong decision keeps many people from making a decision at all.
But, the only bad decision is indecision. Because indecision is making a decision by default – you’re letting circumstance determine your future for you, and most likely, it’s not the future you want.
Realize that there is no wrong path to take.
There are many right paths – you really can’t go wrong.
You just have to choose one path and stay on it. Trust yourself. Make a choice, or one will be made for you.
Maria xxoo
I agree. Sometimes you don’t have enough information to make a decision that you feel comfortable with… Just gotta try something. Experiment. Then you’ll get more info that will help making other choices later on.
When I feel stuck or unable to decide which way to go, I like to remember the way people get in the water.
We all see people doing the “I’ll get wet one inch at a time” slow wade into the water, and most of the time they never actually get all the way in… they just sort of stand there, not really in and not really out. Then there are the people who just jump right in, they get shocked by the cold water, but mostly come up laughing and full of that energy rush. I always try and be a person who just jumps in, not afraid of the shock of failure.
I’m reminded of Edgar Cacy, (however his name was spelled) who could communicate to the spirits by entrancing himself, or self hypnosis if you will… He said yes, it’s important to have goals in life. Although, we can get so caught up in things, or these goals that they back fire on us.
It’s more important to have ideals. Goals are often more short term, while ideals are general more vague but will lead us to the things we want to achieve, or perhaps destined to achieve.
As long as we believe ourselves, anything is possible.
DennisPanzik.com
Maria,
What a fabulous post. Please keep on writing and sharing.
Yes, 23 can be an awkward age for many people, but it is equally important to remember that you can feel awkward at any age.
Sometimes, it is better to try to live consciously rather than self-consciously. Try not to fall prey to your inner demons and don’t listen to the negative, self-talk. Instead, try positive affirmations.
Keep on taking (calculated) risks and experiment with life choices. Find out what works for you and what does not work for you. And then, find the road less traveled, one that floats your boat. That’s life.
For example, experiment with different majors and minors while you are still in school. Find out what subject excites you. Too many people these days worry about whether a subject will be “financially viable.” Choosing to major in English Literature will not condemn you to a life of mediocrity. You won’t end up plugging away as a construction worker, smelling of bad breath, cursing all day long, walking with a swagger, and with a tattoo of a naked mermaid on your forearm! Don’t be haunted by such negative images, folks.
Studies have revealed that people who graduated from college ended up pursuing careers that had nothing to do with their majors or minors. In fact, the wealthiest man in the world (Bill Gates) dropped out of Harvard at 19, and Richard Branson never attended college.
Thus, it would be helpful for young people to read a few biographies and auto-biographies of the rich and famous and take heart from their lives. You can learn a lot from the precedents set by others, of course, but you have to adapt those experiences to your unique life circumstances. Finally, it is your life. It is up to you to find your calling.
Just a comment on Archan Mehtas’ words. I’m 43 years old, have been an artist all my life with a college education in Graphic Design. I have worked in various areas in the art related field, but was never really successful enough to support my family.
Unfortunately in order to make ends meet, I had to leave my career in order to pursue a more lucrative one, construction. I am a fourth year apprentice carpenter with, yes, a tattoo of a half naked girl on my forearm, and yes, plugging away and cursing my job. I hate it, but unfortunately, to support my family I have to do it. Haunted by this negative stereo type or not, it’s a fact of life and sometimes we have to bite the bullet.
Now, I don’t intend on staying in construction for the rest of my life. Right now I’m going through some major soul searching as to how I want to finish my time on this planet. At the moment, I’m seriously stuck. All I know is that I hope I can dig my way out of this rut I’m in and get back doing what I truely love, my art.