The curse of being creative is that your work is so personal that it’s literally a piece of you. It’s natural to want people to love it.
If they adore your work, than that means that they adore you.
Once they get a taste of their first fix, Artists start craving the high that comes from the adoration of others. The drug is what they hear from their admirers: “I’ve been a fan of yours for years” or “Your artwork speaks to me” or “You are a master”.
These are the accolades that we live for. But the drug is addictive. And if one person out of a hundred doesn’t love your work, their dislike of it cuts deep into your soul. It’s personal, and it hurts.
I’d like to think that I’m too logical to crave compliments as a writer. But deep down, I need that pill of approval, too.
Recently I ran into a few artists that I’ve long admired at the Surfing Heritage Museum opening. It turns out that they both follow my blog. Artist David Lozeau said “It’s as if you were talking right to me when you wrote that piece on the bro deal.” Another artist named Big Toe tracked me down to tell me that my blog on The Deal Memo solved a big problem for him.
I felt like I had just sniffed top-grade glue. Their compliments lifted me off of my feet.
But then one little negative comment will make me crash and burn.
Such is the case when I asked my husband to critique my writing last night.
“I don’t like that line that you just read. It sounds pompous.” Drew said, really meaning to be helpful.
Even though I had asked for his opinion, the criticism stung and my spunky mood suddenly turned dark. “What exactly do you not like about it?” I insisted that he be more specific.
“I just didn’t like it. I liked everything else that you wrote, but I didn’t like that one line.” He said, shrugging his shoulders.
Why is it that for every one criticism we need ten pats on the back to counteract it?
My writing-coach was critiquing the same piece that Drew didn’t like. “Oh, I think you should keep that line in there. I really like it.” She said, and then added the wisdom of a long-time writer, “But you should write what you think works best.”
And that helped me to realize something very important.
Not everyone is going to love your work. Not everyone is going to hate it.
The most important question is: Do you like it?
Maria xxoo
